Often,
I’d be met with blank stares, which was understandable because they were just
kids. Still, I’d press on. “When you choose a career, it’s important to think
about what you like to do, what you’re good at, and what someone will pay you
to do.”
When
the conversation stalled, I pointed out some of my own accomplishments.
“When I was your age, I discovered I had a good speaking and singing voice, so
I performed in a lot of plays. And I really enjoyed sports. I was an ice dancer
and I loved swimming and skiing and watching ice hockey. Eventually, these
things put me on a path to becoming a TV sportscaster.”
“Your
bragging, Ms. Montgomery,” some child would blurt out. Others around the
room—mostly girls—would nod their heads.
“So,
you don’t think it’s right to talk about your accomplishments?”
“No!” a
chorus of them would answer.
In the business world, the inability to discuss our successes is holding women back.
Then,
I’d point at a boy who played sports. “How’d your game go? Which would lead the
young man on a tangent about how well he’d preformed on the gridiron.
Strangely, when I’d ask female athletes the same question, the response was
rarely positive. “I could have done better,” one would say. “I missed an
important free throw,” another might add.
Bragging,
it turns out, is a habitat peopled mostly by males. A young man can walk into a
job interview and wax on about his accomplishments, while women of all age
groups seem to feel they must be demure, that identifying their skills and
successes is unladylike and casts them in a bad light.
A
perfect example is the way many women handle compliments. When someone says
something nice about our appearance or a job well done, lots of us stare at the
floor, or point out something we did wrong, or give credit to someone else in
order to counter the accolade. And this is a problem.
Just smile and say “Thank you!” when you receive a compliment.
I think
denying our successes holds us back, especially in the business world where
self-confidence and life experience say a lot about who we are and what we
might be capable of in the future. Take participating in sports, for example.
Business owners are delighted to hire those who’ve been on teams. They know
athletes understand punctuality, working with others toward a common goal,
following rules, and getting back up when you’ve been knocked down. (Note here
that championships and won-loss records are not relevant. Just participating is
all that’s important.) And let’s not forget those other “team players”: young
people who’ve participated in choir, marching band, theater, debate, and other
activities that are equally favored by many human resources departments. But
those doing the hiring will not know about a person’s past if the applicant is
unwilling to share the information, so it’s important that people speak up.
That’s not bragging. It’s smart!
Today,
I don’t hesitate to share stories about my past and the things I’ve experienced
and exceeded at. And I’ve learned to accept compliments with a smile and
hearty, “Thank you!” It was a bit uncomfortable at first, but now it feels
great.
Don’t believe me, ladies? Just give it a try.
Please allow me to give you a brief intro to my latest women's fiction novel for your reading pleasure.
The past and present collide when a tenacious reporter seeks information on an eleventh century magician…and uncovers more than she bargained for.
In 1939, archeologists uncovered a tomb at the Northern Arizona site called Ridge Ruin. The man, bedecked in fine turquoise jewelry and intricate bead work, was surrounded by wooden swords with handles carved into animal hooves and human hands. The Hopi workers stepped back from the grave, knowing what the Moochiwimi sticks meant. This man, buried nine hundred years earlier, was a magician.
Former television journalist Kate Butler hangs on to her investigative reporting career by writing freelance magazine articles. Her research on The Magician shows he bore some European facial characteristics and physical qualities that made him different from the people who buried him. Her quest to discover The Magician’s origin carries her back to a time when the high desert world was shattered by the birth of a volcano and into the present-day dangers of archeological looting where black market sales of antiquities can lead to murder.
Former television journalist Kate Butler hangs on to her investigative reporting career by writing freelance magazine articles. Her research on The Magician shows he bore some European facial characteristics and physical qualities that made him different from the people who buried him. Her quest to discover The Magician’s origin carries her back to a time when the high desert world was shattered by the birth of a volcano and into the present-day dangers of archaeological looting where black market sales of antiquities can lead to murder.
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When she can, Anne indulges in her passions: rock collecting, scuba diving, football refereeing, and playing her guitar.
Learn more about Anne Montgomery on her website and Wikipedia. Stay connected on Facebook, Linkedin, and Twitter.
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